Corrupted

Corrupted

May 25, 2022

I wrote this last week because when I'm at my lowest, all the sinister memories came back to mind. I can't believe that I actually had written a lot of things for the past few months. It's kind of liberating to do some wordplay and trying to turn every of my thoughts into words. 

So, I dedicate this for the place that gave me traumas... Where everything that is sinister being veiled by pureness...

This is where people go to hide
The dark secrets and shameful lies
Hypocrisy and sin
Corrupt everything that once was pure

Full of empty promises
False hopes that never come true
No honesty and integrity
Only deceit and betrayal

This is the place where people are judged
Not by character, but wealth
Those who have nothing, are left to suffer
While the rich got richer, and the powerful thrive

The strong prey on the weak
The innocents are caught in crossfire
No justice or compassion
Only cruelty and indifference

The darkness reigns
There's no escaping its clutches
Misery and despair
Where hope dies, and dreams are shattered

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Insomnic

Insomnic

May 2, 2022

I can't sleep
I toss and turn
I count sheep
I get up and pace
The hours drag on
As sleep eludes me
Only the restless world outside
and the restless darkness inside
Only the sound of my restless breath
and the countless thoughts that fill my head

It's so dark in my bedroom
I can't even see my hands in front of my face
And still, I can't sleep...
I toss and turn all night
Wondering what's keeping me awake
Is it the darkness or is it my fears?
Either way, I can't seem to shut my eyes
and get some rest...

The world is asleep and I am awake,
staring at the ceiling in the dark...
I think of all the things I've done,
I think of all the things I have yet to do...
I wonder if I'm doing it right,
or if I'm just screwing up...

I think about the future,
and what it might bring
I worry about the present,
and all the things I'm missing...
I try to count sheep,
but my mind just won't stop
So I just lay there,
staring at the ceiling in the dark...

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Random Update #2

Random Update #2

May 1, 2022

Hello, everyone! How’s it going?

I’ve just done with my 4^th semester final recently and my last paper was “Basic Academic Reading & Writing”. Was it hard? Well, I’m not sure about it to be honest. To be frank, English is my second language and yes, I’m not really that fluent yet. But, I still can read, speak, write, and comprehend. Not a pro though. Probably like, 38/50.

About that paper, I don’t think that it was hard for me to answer all of the questions. There were like 3 parts of it, which of them are objective questions, structured questions, and the essays. I don’t really had much problem with the A, B, C, D questions but structured and the essays one. I mean, both of them are questions that need the answers to be written.

Between the structured and the essays, I think that the essays one were much easier than the structured ones. For that part, I chose the question where I had to make a summary based on an article and the other one was writing about the ways of how to manage stress as a student. Lucky that it only needs to be written in one paragraph and not more than 150 words. Though, I really had a hard time on minimizing some words that are irrelevant because if I removed certain words, then I need to think of like, another words so that my one-paragraph-essay didn’t exceeds more than 150 words.

But, everything is done! So, I don’t need to be stress much about it anymore and now it’s a 2-week break before starting another new semester of college! Though, new pressures are added despite the break since I have to complete some modules by May 16^th. I only have two modules left which is Module 4 and Module 5. And, I really hope that this pressure ends quickly for good!

Yes, I’m tired as hell.

As for now, I’m trying to clear my mind by watching some movies and TV shows 😊

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