SLIDER

Corrupted

May 25, 2022

I wrote this last week because when I'm at my lowest, all the sinister memories came back to mind. I can't believe that I actually had written a lot of things for the past few months. It's kind of liberating to do some wordplay and trying to turn every of my thoughts into words. 

So, I dedicate this for the place that gave me traumas... Where everything that is sinister being veiled by pureness...

This is where people go to hide
The dark secrets and shameful lies
Hypocrisy and sin
Corrupt everything that once was pure

Full of empty promises
False hopes that never come true
No honesty and integrity
Only deceit and betrayal

This is the place where people are judged
Not by character, but wealth
Those who have nothing, are left to suffer
While the rich got richer, and the powerful thrive

The strong prey on the weak
The innocents are caught in crossfire
No justice or compassion
Only cruelty and indifference

The darkness reigns
There's no escaping its clutches
Misery and despair
Where hope dies, and dreams are shattered

Insomnic

May 2, 2022

I can't sleep
I toss and turn
I count sheep
I get up and pace
The hours drag on
As sleep eludes me
Only the restless world outside
and the restless darkness inside
Only the sound of my restless breath
and the countless thoughts that fill my head

It's so dark in my bedroom
I can't even see my hands in front of my face
And still, I can't sleep...
I toss and turn all night
Wondering what's keeping me awake
Is it the darkness or is it my fears?
Either way, I can't seem to shut my eyes
and get some rest...

The world is asleep and I am awake,
staring at the ceiling in the dark...
I think of all the things I've done,
I think of all the things I have yet to do...
I wonder if I'm doing it right,
or if I'm just screwing up...

I think about the future,
and what it might bring
I worry about the present,
and all the things I'm missing...
I try to count sheep,
but my mind just won't stop
So I just lay there,
staring at the ceiling in the dark...

Random Update #2

May 1, 2022

Hello, everyone! How’s it going?

I’ve just done with my 4th semester final recently and my last paper was “Basic Academic Reading & Writing”. Was it hard? Well, I’m not sure about it to be honest. To be frank, English is my second language and yes, I’m not really that fluent yet. But, I still can read, speak, write, and comprehend. Not a pro though. Probably like, 38/50.

About that paper, I don’t think that it was hard for me to answer all of the questions. There were like 3 parts of it, which of them are objective questions, structured questions, and the essays. I don’t really had much problem with the A, B, C, D questions but structured and the essays one. I mean, both of them are questions that need the answers to be written.

Between the structured and the essays, I think that the essays one were much easier than the structured ones. For that part, I chose the question where I had to make a summary based on an article and the other one was writing about the ways of how to manage stress as a student. Lucky that it only needs to be written in one paragraph and not more than 150 words. Though, I really had a hard time on minimizing some words that are irrelevant because if I removed certain words, then I need to think of like, another words so that my one-paragraph-essay didn’t exceeds more than 150 words.

But, everything is done! So, I don’t need to be stress much about it anymore and now it’s a 2-week break before starting another new semester of college! Though, new pressures are added despite the break since I have to complete some modules by May 16th. I only have two modules left which is Module 4 and Module 5. And, I really hope that this pressure ends quickly for good!

Yes, I’m tired as hell.

As for now, I’m trying to clear my mind by watching some movies and TV shows 😊

Random Update #1

April 13, 2022

Hello, everyone! How are you? I hope that all of you are feeling well at times like this.

Phew, I thought that I’m going to ignore this blog again just like what I did to my old blogs. There were so many things happened since the last post that I posted and I think that it was a bit chaotic and exhausting at the same time. But, here I am, still showing my effort to write something before all of you have this thinking that I’m not active anymore LOL.

So, recently, my big family held a dinner party at my place since the people here have helped us to put some tiles and fencing the grave of my late great grandmother. Everything was okay until the water supply was cut off. I was furious at that time because, without enough water supply, it would be hard for us to cook. And, it was hard for me to clean the house too.

Luckily, we did have some water tanks here where we already cut the upper part of them so we can always collect water. Some of them are filled with rain water and some of them are filled with gravity water (which the water is straight from the river).

Let me tell you the story behind the reason why we started using gravity water.

Before all of this, we used to use the water provided by Jabatan Negeri Air Sabah. Some time later, we decided to stop using it since the water supply distribution system provided by JANS is very bad. I mean, it is still acceptable that there’s no water supply due to using gravity water since sometimes the river will become dry or shallow due to drought. However, when the water supply is being cut off and the fact that it is provided by the “g” word? It is VERY unacceptable!

Sometimes, when there’s maintenance, we had to go through days without water at home. But, that’s okay since we even started using gravity water way before we stopped using JANS’s water supply. It’s the fact that they have to do maintenance for so many times every months and the water flow from the taps are slower than the turtles. Yet we still have to pay the bills for it which costs us RM2000 all of a sudden.

So, I won’t go further about this since it is related to some political scandal and I don’t want to go there.

Also, I have a final semester examination next week and I’m actually nervous about it. 

And yes, I am still stressing out due to the other students that take the same subject as mine this year that kept asking me for answers to all the assignments this semester and copying all of them. This is probably why I don’t have close friends ever since I started studying in college because I hate it when I’m being too kind and friendly, these people are taking advantage of me which makes me exhausted mentally. This is also the reason why I have two phone numbers for WhatsApp to this day.

I also started to take photos again after so long of keeping my camera in the closet. 

As you can see at the picture above, the word on the lens cover is fading away. I mean, I don't blame him because I've been keeping him since 2012.

I really thought that it is not functioning anymore, and turns out, it is still functioning once I pressed the “On” button. Though, the display screen has a vignetting around it and I don’t even know how to fix it. I did decide to bring it to a camera store to get someone to fix it but, I’m not confident enough since the price might be expensive. Lucky that I can still snap some photos using the small see through lens at the back of the camera. And, there are also some buttons that can’t work properly anymore but I don’t care. As long as I can still use it, that’s all matters.

Then, here’s my photography Tumblr. I can only show you the screenshot of it since I opened this Tumblr using my real identity. I mean, I already linked some of my socials there so, If I put the direct link to this Tumblr site, it would ruin the purpose of me being an anonymous blogger LOL.

So, that’s all from me for now. See you on the next updates!

The Things that Make Me Miss Kuala Lumpur (Part 1)

April 7, 2022


My family and I used to live in Kuala Lumpur in the past. So, yes, I was born and raised there until the year of 2012. Then, we moved to Sabah, around November, due to my father's retirement. I was really glad that I still have time to finish school where I was still a Form 2 student at that time. But, it was really sad at the same time since I have to leave all of my friends and my favorite teachers.

Not only that, there were also other things that I have to leave such as my cats and all of the favorite places that I used to go and visit.

Also, for the past few days, I have also taken some time to look at all the places that I used to go using the Google Maps' 3D Street View. I actually found this trick when I was scrolling through my TikTok app. And after that, I quickly turned on my laptop just to try it. Once I saw all of them for the first time, after so long of leaving KL, I actually cried in my room, in the middle of the night because I can't describe how much I miss the city. I knew it was embarrassing, but, lucky I was alone at that time LOL.

So, these are the things that make me miss Kuala Lumpur (so much):

The People

I really miss the environment where I can make friends with all the people of different races and ethnicities. I used to have many Malay, Chinese, Indian, Sarawakian, and Dusunese friends at school and in the residential area where my family and I used to live. Not only that, I also used to be friends with immigrants too. I love the fact that I can learn different languages from all of them.

Since moving, I have very rarely, had friends of different races other than friends who are Sabahans (Dusunese, the Bajaus, and some of them are mixed). But, lucky that our world has becoming more modern and we are able to connect with people even when we are far away from them.

To this day, I still do keep in touch with my friends that still live in Peninsular Malaysia.

The Foods

This is what makes me miss KL, mostly, since everytime when it comes to foods there, all I could think of is "diversity". There are Chinese, Indian, Malay, and other ethnics foods and I believe that under each of them can be broke down into several sub-races and all of them has their own recipes, handed down by their ancestors from generation to generation.

When I was still in KL ever since I was a kid, I have gone to many places to eat. And, since I'm a non-Muslim, of course I can eat anywhere. There are so many iconic places such as:

  1. Rojak Bellamy 
Which is famous because of their iconic "Pasembur".

  1. Siu Siu Restaurant 
The most favorite menu that I used to eat here is the steamed fish coated with a thick Tom Yam gravy and garnished with some vegetables such as long beans. Other than that is the steamed bean curd which is garnished with minced pork and some spring onions on top, and it is also poured with gravy which is cooked using soy sauce, sesame oil, and oyster saucy. There are also other non-halal menus that I love but I think I won't mention them here since I forgot the full name for each of them.

  1. The Nasi Lemak Stall Which Is in The Same Area as Siu Siu Restaurant's

I'm not really sure the name of this stall since I already forgot its name. I mean, I have been in Sabah for a long long time now and it's the only reason why I'm not quite familiar with the buildings, roads, and the streets names. Even if I spend all day looking at Google Maps in 3D Street View, still, I have a hard time to recognize everything since there are new buildings and new environments surrounding the specific places that I want to see.

This place, I think, is (or was, since I'm not sure whether the stall is still operating to this day or not) remarkable for its Nasi Lemak that they serve to customers everyday. When I was still in kindergarten and primary school, my dad will always (not like everyday though. Only when he had the mood to have lunch outside, or feel lazy to cook at home) bring me here after school. This was also the place where he and his co-workers used to had lunch together besides Rojak Bellamy.

  1. Every Kedai Mamak in Salak Selatan and Bandar Sri Permaisuri

Of course it's hard for me to forget these areas. Compared to the first residential area in where I used to live with my family, these areas have lots of shop lots. There are two kedai mamak that I really like to go. The first one is Restoran Nana Cafe which is located in Bandar Sri Permaisuri, and the other one is Restoran Fathima which is located in Salak Selatan. Both of them, for me, are so iconic for their Roti Canai and Economy Rice.

  1. Every Chinese Restaurants in Salak Selatan and Bandar Sri Permaisuri Too

Not forget to mention that throughout my stay in Bandar Sri Permaisuri, there were also many Chinese restaurants that I used to go with my family. In Bandar Sri Permaisuri, there are like, two Chinese restaurants that I really love to go which of them are:

  • Restoran Wan Guan

I really love it here since the only menu that I always love to order is the Chicken Chop Rice and the Nasi Goreng USA. And of course, the soy milk is to die for and must be ordered along with the foods I used to always order.

  • Seven Seven Restaurant

As much as I remember, the only food that I always ordered here was the Noodle Soup from this one stall which is inside the restaurant. I'm not even sure what's the name of the food since they wrote all of them in Chinese, or was it? I'm not even sure to be honest because at that time, I was still a kid and I had a hard time to read everything that passes my eyes and I'm easily get distracted very quickly, everytime I'm in public. Even to this day too.

Then, these are the Chinese restaurants in Salak Selatan that I used to go when I was still living in Bandar Sri Permaisuri:

  • Kedai Makanan Salak Selatan
The only foods that I have in mind everytime when I think of this restaurant is the Hokkien Mee and Steamed Pork Buns.
  • This One Small Restaurant that Doesn't Have a Name to This Day

To be honest, I don't even know the name of the restaurant ever since the first time I ate here. This place was small and I don't really like dining in here especially when it's around afternoon as it can be hot around that time. However, what's important to me was the foods, which is the Economy Rice. 

To sum all of it, these Chinese restaurants are very iconic for serving Economy Rice to customers.

Some of the places that I've already mentioned may have moved to somewhere. Some of them have already upgraded their restaurants. And, some of them may no longer operating. But, these restaurants have carved some respective memories in my mind to this day. It is very hard to stop remembering everything and keep missing all of them at the same time. I just wish that someday I will go to these places again.

(Probably) a New Beginning

April 3, 2022


Hello, everyone! Welcome to my blog!

As you can see here, my blog is not fully done with the editing yet, so, I decided to just make this blog to go live/online because I can’t wait to write and blog at the same time. And of course, doing some blogwalking too!

To be frank, this is not my first-time blogging. However, I don’t even know how many times I had owned all the blogs in the past because I kept leaving all my blogs being not updated, and some of the readers keeps questioning about my existence.

And, that was a blog where I wrote using my own identity. Some of the blogs in the past also I owned under a pseudonym.

Earlier this year, I decided to make a blog again because I’m bored. I know that the reason might sounds silly but, I really need to have something different other than all the interests and likings that I already have. Like, maybe I should write. And, that’s why this blog exists.

There are so many things I want to say here but, maybe I should let it all out on the next posts, right? Also, let’s just hope that this going to be the last time for me to not to keep leaving without any updates because editing blogs can be exhausting especially when it comes to HTML.

So, I am going to just end it here for now. I hope that all of you have a great day ahead!

PS: Just ignore all the posts with the title “Lorem Ipsum”. I just made all of that
  just to see the results after I’m done altering some of the HTML codes for this blog.



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